Part of something that I have been working on :0)

As I stand at my mother’s graveside, my tears falling freely, holding my

grandmothers blue pendant tight in my hand. I wonder why she never

gave it to her. Why would my grandmother keep it for me? I knew

there was something more to this, I could feel it. Maybe James was

the missing piece in all of this. Now was not the time for me to be

 thinking about it. It had been two years since my mothers passing.

So many things were unfinished. What still gets me the most is, the

 pain of losing her has never really left, still digging and gnawing it’s

 way at my insides .I had come round to thinking that the feeling

would stay with me forever. I know what she would say, I can

hear her in my head.’ time to move on now love, don’t sit hear

 and weep for me’ I smile to myself, broken by the thought that I

wished it was her voice I could hear, and not that of someone else.

         I became aware of someone close to me. Before I had

the chance to turn an see who it was, a hand was placed gentle

on my shoulder, it was James 'Eleanor, are you ok?’  he was

 worried.I turned and fell in to his arms. Funny how you can

keep yourself completely composed until the only person you

cannot hide your feelings from is by your side. I knew he could

 feel my body shaking, he knew I was crying. He held me tighter

pulling me in as close and as tight, as was humanly safe to do so.

‘It’s ok Eleanor, I’m hear’ we stood hear for what seemed like hours,

 like stills in a photograph, silent. James was in no hurry to let go

 and I was in no fit state to go anywhere.