10 August 2012

Part of something that I have been working on :0)

As I stand at my mother’s graveside, my tears falling freely, holding my
grandmothers blue pendant tight in my hand. I wonder why she never
gave it to her. Why would my grandmother keep it for me? I knew
there was something more to this, I could feel it. Maybe James was
the missing piece in all of this. Now was not the time for me to be
 thinking about it. It had been two years since my mothers passing.
So many things were unfinished. What still gets me the most is, the
 pain of losing her has never really left, still digging and gnawing it’s
 way at my insides .I had come round to thinking that the feeling
would stay with me forever. I know what she would say, I can
hear her in my head.’ time to move on now love, don’t sit hear
 and weep for me’ I smile to myself, broken by the thought that I
wished it was her voice I could hear, and not that of someone else.
         I became aware of someone close to me. Before I had
the chance to turn an see who it was, a hand was placed gentle
on my shoulder, it was James 'Eleanor, are you ok?’  he was
 worried.I turned and fell in to his arms. Funny how you can
keep yourself completely composed until the only person you
cannot hide your feelings from is by your side. I knew he could
 feel my body shaking, he knew I was crying. He held me tighter
pulling me in as close and as tight, as was humanly safe to do so.
‘It’s ok Eleanor, I’m hear’ we stood hear for what seemed like hours,
 like stills in a photograph, silent. James was in no hurry to let go
 and I was in no fit state to go anywhere.

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